~Who Really is the BACON! in Me?~
Yesterday I sat down and talked to a friend of mine and we had a short conversation about identity. Just for a few minutes of my day and it turned my day around actually. It changed my perspective pretty much on my life. I started to think these thoughts:
- Who was I?
- Who am I?
- Who am I going to be?
Who did I used to be?
Well, my identity used to be about fun. I was who you wanted to call when there was a time to Party. Life was all about the party. No matter if there was booze involved or not…Lets just have fun. I could get serious when I was 50. Little did I know how personally destructive that is. I gave up a lot of things actually just to be the “Life of the Party”. Careers, Education, Relationships, wealth. Really only one of those matter and that’s the relationships. Real relationships. Not just a drinking buddy or just riding shotgun. For a long time that’s who I was…That was MY identity. My name was probably on every bathroom wall from here to Tunica…”For a good time call Cannon”. Don’t let your mind wonder to far with tat now.
So I ask you…Who am I? What’s my identity in your eyes? Cause the truth is I’m constantly searching and I think at times we all go through this…Who am I?
When people post things on facebook or sent me text the things that they associate me with usually comes from something out of my sense of humor, taste in music, taste in food and my taste in women…Yes, women 😉 They make the best sandwiches!
See, I LOVE BACON!. It’s the shoestring that holds my culinary prowess together. I mean who DOESN’T Love BACON! Through a few post I’ve made about BACON! on facebook it’s become part of my identity. It’s become part of me…It’s actually kinda funny I get people who barely know me asking why I love BACON! So doggone much. I really don’t know what to tell them other than it’s the perfect food. It’s pork…it’s salty…It’s fatty….I mean…What in the world is NOT to love about BACON! It’s found in everything now from candles to breath mints to toothpaste. I haven’t tried the tooth paste but my friend, Jeff Owens, brought me back some breath mints from Florida because he understands my love of pork-bellies. I mean that’s when you know something you love reaches people. When they bring you presents, big or small, that reminds them of me. BTW, the BACON! mints tasted like BACON! and smelled like a busted deer gut.
Coffee, lets face it if you really want to label me then coffee is the way to do it. It’s my vice now days. I love it…I drink it all day long…I drink it leaded or decaf. I drink it black like I like my women…”Hot black and bitter”…Or with some cream and sugar…Real CANE sugar. I LOVE a hot cup of coffee. I have my favorite coffee house. It’s at the corner of Floyd and Pace Streets in down town Covington, Ga. It’s where I go to reflect, talk, worship, relax, joke, read, write, work and drink coffee. In another blog coming soon I’m going to explain the importance of coffee on the world. There hasn’t been a commodity that’s played a bigger role on the planet…Even gold! I love coffee so much I have actually been given the nickname “Coffee”. Yep, I turn around when people say coffee randomly thinking someone is talking about me. Then I realize they’re actually talking about the drink and for a few fleeting moments I feel a little bit like a moron.
Something else I’ve found myself identifying with is anxiety and depression. It was something I have struggled with for years privately and now that it’s out in the open I feel like I have an X on my chest when it comes to that. It used to actually rule my life. I did things because of my struggles with both and it usually manifested itself in terrible decisions and that’s where the false relationships in my life festered from as well. This is an identity I still struggle with today. I worry about it ALL the time…Will people see this or that about me…What will cause this or that to come to the surface next time. I can’t speak for others but it’s a real identity that I see myself.
Hell, I have so many identities that they keep popping up in my head. When I look in the mirror I still see the guy that weighed almost 260 lbs. I weigh a buck semty five right now. But I still see myself as a fat guy and I probably ALWAYS will. That’s part of my identity…I’ve lost 70lbs and I still see myself as a tub. And no I didn’t do it by tossing my cookies and whatnot when I finished off a box of Fruity Pebbles.
Here’s the thing … We don’t just have one singular identity. There are things in our being that we identify with that are good, bad, indifferent, ugly, beautiful and just plain strange. Some things we hide for fear of judgement and sometimes we let that freak flag fly and just run with it.
Who am I going to be?
The identity I want to have above all others is my identity in Christ. I want it to supersede all others no matter how trivial or deeply emotional. I want my identity to be in Christ.
Last night I realized that’s where I am. It’s been there for a while and I’m humbled that it’s something that others see in my. It’s Christ. It’s my identity in Christ. Not too long ago a friend of mine posted something on facebook and I commented. I’m not going to say who or what it was about but her response was “I figured you’d be the first to respond to this…When I think of Jesus … I think of you”. Wow! I didn’t know what to say and I still don’t. People tell me all the time that I’m an inspiration. I just don’t see it. I’m identified with Christ and I LOVE that but I’m so far from being a great or even a good Christian it’s hard for me to accept that identity. I have a few friends that feel the same way. I struggle with selfish guilt. Not for other people but guilt for my relationship at times with Jesus. That’s when inevitably I’m flooded with grace. While I don’t all the time paint the perfect picture of a Christian and I know there is no such thing God uses me in spite of myself and that’s something I’m proud to be a part of.
That’s where I want my identity…In Christ.
- Who were you? Maybe a football player or beauty queen or partier yourself?
- Who are you? Avg. person struggling with life?
- Who are you gonna be? I hope found in Christ…It’s a great place to be!
I’d love to hear some of the identities y’all carry on a daily basis. Please, leave the clowns and midgets off here…Those are two identities I can’t stomach! ((((((SHIVER))))))))
Until the next slip of the tongue, thank you for visiting “Gullible’s Travels”
The Loose Cannon